Safari Bistro Hotel

Stood in the lobby for only 5 minutes to sign in. Guest after guest came in to complain. One woman came to confirm that the room she was in was ACTUALLY a deluxe room because it wasn't very deluxe at all. Another who's windows didn't open and was overheating. Then another who was upset about a LIVE COCKROACH in the building. This is a review of the FIRST room I was put in, as we had to move to another room. Theres a story below: -Dirty and worn out. I considered leaving within half an hour of unpacking. -Fire Safety violation spotted almost immediately, a Fire Extinguisher used as a doorstop to hold open a fire door in the route of a fire exit. Yes, seriously. A fire extinguisher removed from it's designated and labeled storage and used as a doorstop to hold open a fire door. That isn't a joke. -Looks like a slum. The moment you realise that half the door handles only have 2 of the 4 screws holding them on you know the place is run by people who really don't care. -Whoever fitted ALL the fixtures has never heard of a spirit level. Everything is wonky. -Incredibly bland. -Quick wipe of some surfaces (Like the bed headrest) with a wet wipe turned the wet wipe brown. -Chronically ancient TV and the remote that's supposed to be white was brown, furry and sticky like it had been used as a dog toy. -Kettle full of rust and limescale, I refused to use it. -Full-sized kitchen fridge in room that's covered in stains. -No lamps or anything, you get the main room light or complete darkness. -There's a cabinet that looks like it was pulled out of a ditch and all the drawers are full of dead insects and piled dust. -There's trash and broken glass right outside the window, the window itself looks like it was painted and sealed by a child. -There's no Internet or cell reception, can't even send a text message from here, in a city. The information we read online explained that there IS free WiFi for guests, however we were never offered the password, and after the whole ordeal (written below) we didn't actually want to talk to anyone. -There's a prominent odour of raw sewage, and if its not the sewage smell it's another one that's equally awful but unidentifiable. -The carpet is attached to the floor only by its own weight. -The paint is just falling off like dust. -The room's door is a heavy fire door but it has a gap at the bottom big enough to stick your hand through. -The only window you can look out of looks directly into the windows of the hotels only 20ft next door. -Even the light bulb for the main room is a foul, pale and sickly white-green. -Disgusting power outlets hanging on for dear life. The Room Switch Story: There was cold water in the sink and no hot, but hot in the bath and no cold, so we couldn't shower or effectively wash hands. We asked for the water issue to be fixed, we were told 20 minutes, that was at 8pm. It took most of an hour for someone to come and put their hand in the shower's running water to confirm it was